Stranger than fiction 4! Good Grief Kane!
by Scorpina
Summary: Stranger than fiction returns with one of the most strange story. Kane and the others find themselves trapped in the world of the Peanuts Gang. Question is, how do you get out?
1. Chapter 1

Stranger than fiction 4- Good Greif Kane!

Chapter 1- Tis the season.

"Why doesn't he just kick her ass?"

"Kane, this is a cartoon intended for kids, Charlie Brown is not going to kick Lucy!"

It was that time of the year again, Christmas special have been showing up on the TV as all the other good shows take a holiday for the holiday. CM Punk was at it again in trying to get Kane into the festive spirit. Kelly Kelly joined them as they sat and watched Charlie Brown once more get stuck with a pitiful tree. Due to recent events, Kane was to spend time with Kelly to learn more about her and so they could react to one another's tone of voice and practice out any scenes before Raw.

"You know what I realized?" Kelly asked aloud.

"What?" questioned John Morrison.

"Well the fact that Kane and I have NEVER been paired together for anything. I read a fan fiction story where we're dance partners. I guess whoever wrote it thought we would make a funny pair," she said with a smile as she nudge Kane's arm.

"Wait, we were paired together in a fan fiction story? Those fans always rip off of current story lines," explained Punk.

"Not this one. This person wrote it weeks before Kane and I were paired! Funny thing is, when he attacked Miz… Miz was first one out of a contest that continues later on in the story! I just find it very ironic"

Kane looked over to Kelly and gave a half smile. "Perhaps someone in the writing department liked it. It's not like we got to give them credit or anything, but whoever the hell wrote it sounds like they got an over active imagination"

"Damn right, like that chick who wrote Hunter Potter" John snickered aloud.

"Well someone must be reading their stories and taking what they like from it" Kane muttered.

"Sneaky!" Morrison announced. "But geeze, if you got to take ideas from a fan fiction then why the hell not offer them a job already!"

"They aren't going to do that, after all they are getting the idea for free," announced Punk.

"What's everyone talking about?" Chris Jericho walked in with Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton. They popped some popcorn and brought in drinks for everyone as they sat down to watch Charlie Brown's classic Christmas special.

"I never get tired of Christmas Specials!" announced Chris Jericho. "But damn, poor Charlie Brown!"

"Lucy is a bitch," said Randy.

"Why the hell does Linus has a blanket?" asked Jeff.

There was a tap on the doorway. Taker soon came into the room and sat in on the arm of the couch. "Charlie brown finally over?" he asked.

"Yeah, but there are more Christmas specials to come"

"I rather see Jeff Hardy leap into random snow banks," Taker muttered. They remained in the room to watch Christmas specials until they grew too tired to stay away and watch them any farther…


	2. Chapter 2 Good Grief!

Chapter 2- Good Greif!

Kane was first to wake up as he felt he was asleep in a soft bed. What troubled him though was that he doesn't remember going to bed! "What the hell…" he whispered as he slowly sat up. Just then there was a frantic pounding at his door.

"KANE! KANE!" It was Kelly.

She burst in the door, what startled Kane was her hair went into a triangle formation as she wore a blue dress. "Kane what the hell is going on!" she demanded.

"Why do you look… like… OH HELL!" he screamed as he pulled himself out of bed. He went to the mirror and saw that had become. Trapped in fiction once more, but… Kane was Charlie Brown!

"Kane?"

"Kelly. Welcome to the world of Peanuts… aka… the Charlie Brown Universe" he muttered and cursed all the way down the stairs. Kane grabbed his boots, jacket and scarf as he stormed out into the cartoon world. It was winter, meaning it was Christmas time. Kelly quickly followed him questioning as to what was going on.

He explained the best he could, yet why the hell are they in Charlie Brown's world of all places. "So… I'm Sally?" she asked.

"Yeah, and I'm the loser!"

The two paused as they heard someone following them. Kane turned and saw a black dog of all things following them. "Since when is Snoopy all Black?" she asked.

Kane noticed the look in the dog's eyes. "Since the Deadman found himself as Snoopy"

A low growl came from the discolored beagle as the three continued on their way. "So how do we get out of here?"

Incoherent growls came from the Deadman as he tried to voice is opinion. However he found it useless and unable to express himself properly. Kane let out a sigh. "Let's go find Lucy and Linus," he said. There was no doubt in his mind that if Kelly Kelly, Taker and himself where here, others would be as well!

Looking about the world, Kane tried to make sense of all of this, how the hell does he get trapped in these things? It's always him and the Undertaker! With a sigh, he stopped off at the small cardboard and wooden physiologist's stand. He sat in wait. "Kane?" Kelly asked.

He said nothing as he reached into his pocket and dropped a nickel into the can that rested on the table. Next thing they knew, Lucy had arrived… but Lucy wasn't Lucy.

Kelly lost all sense of herself as she fell to the snow laughing her ass off. Taker too got caught up in the moment and unleashed Snoopy's laughter, standing at the table was Randy Orton. "Oh shut the hell up!" he snapped at the two as Kane snuck in a few chuckles of his own.

Randy sat down on the chair and glared at Kane. "Why the hell are you laughing at me? You're Charlie Brown!" he snapped.

"I rather be a loser than a dude in a dress" Snickered Kane. "Where's Linus?"

It wasn't long before 'Linus' came on the scene. Jeff Hardy took the role of the blanket wielding character, yet they were rather amused to see the blue blanket tucked into the back of his pants. "Kane, what the hell is going on? Why does Randy dress like a chick?"

"We're in a comic strip" Kane began to explain. However he paused to the sound of random squeaks that came at his foot. Looking down was a little yellow bird. It was leaping about trying to get some attention.

The crooked smile came over Kane. "I found Jericho!" he announced.


	3. Chapter 3 The peanuts gang

Chapter 3- The peanuts gang.

Everyone was found eventually. They met in the gym where the infamous Christmas play was to take place. Chris Jericho was trapped as the little yellow bird named Woodstock. Taker was the incoherent dog named Snoopy. Kane had already knew he was Charlie Brown.

Punk came on the scene later on as the piano playing kid named Schroeder, as Morrison took the identity of Rerun, Lucy and Linus' little brother.

"So are we all here?" Kane asked aloud.

Nods came from everyone. Kane tried to address the situation as best as possible, he had become the reluctant leader of the group since the Undertaker became a beagle. They were all trapped in the Christmas special yet with no apparent way out, the only thing they could do was continue on as if they were the characters running a Christmas play. Chris Jericho was franticly writing a note as many wondered where on earth he found a pencil small enough for him to use. He passed the note to the Deadman who gave and nod to it and passed it along to Kane.

Kane looked over the note before he let out a sigh. "Chris… You can't write as a bird" and revealed the letter was nothing but squiggles and likes like chicken scratches. Chris began yelling about in odd in his squeaky chirps trying to vent out an idea as Taker began yelling back at him in low growls and trying to make words. The two kept going until Punk put his piano between the two and told them to knock it off.

"Guys, come on! Besides, none of us can't understand what the hell you're staying!" Punk announced.

"Why the hell am I the little kid?" Morrison demanded.

"Why do I have a blanket?" Jeff questioned as he kept it in his back pocket.

"People, simmer!" Kelly called. "I'm sure Kane will get us out of here…"

"And since when the hell do people listen to Charlie Brown?" Kane demanded of her, he soon rolled his eyes as he pondered his next move. Everyone was now depending on him, and there didn't seem to be a way out.

"Maybe we need to do the Christmas pageant the way it was suppose to be done? A lush tree, a script… or Kaney Brown's script" Punk said with a smirk.

"Next person who calls me Kaney Brown will get kicked so hard…"

"But Charlie brown never makes the kick." Randy announced with a smirk of his own.

"None of you have footballs for heads!" growled Kane.

As the gang tried to figure out what to do next, Taker had gotten up and left the room for a strange reason. Everyone waited for him to return, what was strange was that he returned with a typewriter. He found a piece of paper and began to type franticly. When done, he pulled the paper out and passed it off to Kane.

"Wow apparently Snoopy can type!" Kane said with a smirk. "Deadman is suggesting that we continue on with the Christmas play idea… Take, you do realize you got to lick Randy?"

Passing the paper back to Taker, the Deadman franticly typed again. The note was passed as Kane read it over. "No it's not that type of licking Deadman" Kane announced.

"Uh… I do have a question. Why am I here? Rerun isn't in this Christmas Special" questioned Morrison.

"Well you're here now. Ok, everyone break up into groups and let's figure out how to get out of here." Kane called.

"I agree. I don't want Orton hitting on me" said Punk as he gathered up his little piano and went on his way.

Randy sat alone with Kane for a moment. "How come I am always the chick?" he asked aloud.

Kane snickered. "I don't think you want an answer to that. Just suck it up and let's get this over with."


	4. Chapter 4 Characters take form

Chapter 4- The Characters take form.

As everyone tried to figure out what to do, Punk sat down and began to play the piano. Much to everyone's shock and his own, Punk was good! The could play Beethoven and the occasional Christmas character. What was weird though was every time Punk played. Taker broke out into a Snoopy dance. When he stopped, he seemed to regain himself. When everyone stopped and stared at him, he growled lowly to each of them before leaving the room. Punk however was smirking. "This is rather awesome!" he said with a snicker.

He didn't here Chris Jericho trying to give him an earful…

Elsewhere.

Kane stared in the mirror as he found himself sneering at his t-shirt. A yellow sweater with a black stripe, he hated yellow. It was never his color, not to mention he didn't like Charlie Brown to begin with!

A gentle tapping came at the door. Kane turned to see Jeff Hardy walk in as the infamous blue blanket dragged behind him. It was still tucked in his back pocket for safe keeping of course, yet he looked to Kane with a smile. "I think I know a way out of this. We have to break the rules of the Peanut Universe!" he said.

"Anything!" Kane pleaded with the Hardy Boy. "What's the idea?"

"You need to kick the football"

Kane stared at Jeff. "And just how many times have you fallen off a ladder Hardy Boy? We already talked about this, it will take more than just me kicking a football!"

Jeff however explained that it goes against everything Charlie Brown was, if he kicks the football out of 'Lucy's' hands it will shatter the foundation of this grand old comic strip. "It's the only way and we got to do it soon. Taker is becoming more and more Snoopy like!"

"What gives you that idea?" Kane demanded.

Just then the Deadman walked by the door dressed like Snoopy would as he pretends to be a World War 1 flying ace. He growled lowly at the two men as he walked by. Kane looked to Jeff. "Get me the damn football"


	5. Chapter 5 Kick the football Kaney Brown

Chapter 5- Kick the football Kaney Brown.

Everyone had gathered outside as Kane dressed warmly as did Randy Orton. Orton held in his hand a football and placed it just so it was ready to kick. "Remember Randy. Kane has to kick it. No pulling it away!" called out Jeff.

"Yeah, it's that or we get stuck dancing repeatedly!" announced Kelly Kelly. "Kane can kick a football right?"

Everyone glared at Kelly. "For your big fat information, I tried out for professional football. But never made the team due to a knee injury!" Kane snapped at her.

"Oh good, I thought it was that you're an awful kicker" she said with a sigh.

Kane turned to Randy. "YOU CAN KEEP HER!" the big red monster officially lost interest in the little diva.

Just then Kane looked down and saw Chris Jericho chirping his little beak off. It sounded more like squeaking than anything. "Chris, I don't know what the hell you are saying. You're a bird!"

Chris began to attempt to fly up at Kane yet he kept going upside down and in loops. Kane figured out then and there what the little Canadian was saying. Taker too spoke his peace the best he could. "Deadman, I know you don't want to dance every time Punk plays the piano. I get it!" Kane snapped at him.

"How the hell do you know what he's saying?" questioned Punk.

"ARE YOU GOING TO KICK THE DAMN BALL OR NOT!" shouted Randy Orton from down the field.

With a roll of his eyes Kane got into a running start. His eyes locked on the leather ball as Orton held it in place. It was in perfect position, everything was going to work out.

However just as Kane got ready to kick, Randy couldn't stop the Lucy in him. He pulled away the football at the last moment.

"AAARRRGGGHHHH!" Kane screamed as he somehow went flying through the air and landed in a snow bank.

Orton lost all sense of himself as he laughed his ass off. "No wonder the chick does it! It's hilarious!"

However, it prompted Kelly to walk over to Orton, she took the ball out of his hands and kicked him between the legs… hard!

Every man cringed, even Jericho in the Deadman. Taker growled something incoherent to Chris Jericho, who unleashed a Woodstock like laugh. No one knew what they were saying between one another. All they knew was it was between Jericho and the Deadman.

"Maybe we should try it again. This time. I will hold the football" Punk announced.

"No, it has to be Lucy… aka Randy. He has to be the one to hold the ball!" announced Jeff.

"So, what's your big idea?" asked Kane as the rejoined the others and brushed the snow off of himself.

"We get Punk to put Randy to sleep" Jeff said with a grin.


	6. Chapter 6 the greatest kick of all time

Chapter 6- The greatest kick of all time…

Punk managed to lure Randy into a false sense of security before delivering the GTS finisher on him. With Orton out like a light, Jeff set up the football once more as the gang had the unconscious Randy Orton hold it in place. "Ok, so there's no way in hell you can miss now! Come on Kane, kick the damn thing!" announced Morrison.

Kane smiled as he got his running start, just as he was about to kick the football Randy came to.

Kane missed again.

"What the hell!" shouted out Jeff. "Kane, you should have kicked the football!"

However Kane did not go screaming into the air and landing in the snow bank. Instead, Randy was knocked back into unconsciousness. "Karma's a bitch. Don't tell me you guys weren't tempted!" he snapped back.

Taker of course voiced his opinion the best he could with his Snoopy voice. However found it utterly useless after five minutes. Everyone knew he was cussing up a storm, and yet for the first time ever. No one listened to him. "I rather like the new Deadman!" announced Morrison.

"It's better when I see him do the Snoopy dance. Kane, you haven't seen that yet have you?" Punk questioned.

"Guys, we have to get out of here. If not, we won't be wrestling anymore. We will be stuck in endless games of baseball in which we never win!" announced Jeff Hardy.

Kane froze to the idea of a never ending game of baseball, one that they will not win or ever have a victory. He turned around just as Randy came to and punted the football out of his hands. It went flying through the air and out of sight as Kane turned to Jeff. "Is that a good enough punt?" he demanded.

"It's not Charlie Brown kick"

Jeff then felt the earth under him shake, soon everyone did. "It's working!" called out Morrison.

No one realized Taker and Jericho were doing the happy Snoopy and Woodstock dance.

The world around them grew darker and darker as Kane rejoined the others. Orton however could help but wonder why his head killed. "I feel like I was kicked in the head?"

"Now you know why Lucy was always a bitch" Jeff explained.

As the world faded to dark, everyone kept their fingers crossed that all will be well when they wake up.


	7. Chapter 7 the strange talk END

Chapter 7- The strange talk.

The WWE gang woke up in the locker room, everything was as it should be. Randy wasn't in a dress and Kane wasn't Charlie Brown. The Undertaker was relieved to see that he no longer was a mute dog as Chris Jericho was now eye level with most of the gang. "Oh thank God!" sighed out John Morrison.

"Amen, I am getting the hell out of here!" called Punk.

The two superstars left as Kane let out a sigh. "I am getting sick and tired of getting trapped in fiction constantly" he sighed. "Why doesn't it ever happen to other people? I mean you know, like Umaga or the Great Khali?"

"Kane, have you ever tried understanding either one of them when they talk?" Chris Jericho asked. "You know, I've had enough crazy shenanigans that could put me in the nut house. I'm going to go work on my book!"

Chris did as he said and went to his locker room, pulling out a pad of paper and began writing the sequal to his novel of 'A Lion's Tale' but as he wrote, he paused. "What the hell"

He tried writing once more, yet found he couldn't keep his pencil stright, or make any coherent words come off the paper. Chris Jericho was writing like Woodstock the yellow bird once more!

Meanwhile.

Morrison and Punk were walking down the hall when Vicky Guerrero approached them. "Wha, wa, wa wawa waaa" came from the Smackdown GM.

Morrison slowly removed his sunglasses. "Pardon?" he asked.

"Wha, wa, wa, wawa, waaa!" she said a little louder.

Punk and Morrison were lost as they turned to each other. "Uh, we'll get back to you on that" The two began to walk a little faster away from Vicky. Neither knew why she was she talking like the adults from Charlie Brown?

Back in the locker room.

"Doesn't some of this stuff follow us back from the fictional world?" Kane asked aloud.

"Did it happen the last time?" questioned The Deadman.

"Well to a few. Not everyone" Kane pondered to himself as to who would be affected by the story this time, and how long it was last. But he just knew one thing. Kane wasn't watching Charlie Brown any time before bed again.

Nor is he ever going to try and kick a football should Randy Orton be holding the ball!

THE END.


End file.
